7 $.ex Styles To Make You Last Long in Bed
1. The Garbage Compactor
You know the scene in Star Wars when the gang hides down a garbage chute then the walls start closing around them? This position has a lot of the same vibes. It’s garbage and it’s compact.
First, you’ll need to be quarantined somewhere that is not up to code and has suspiciously narrow hallways. Then one of you has to have the flexibility and balance of a professional dancer. Simply point one leg towards the ceiling and nestle it gently into your partner’s neck while you both stand. Then proceed to have sex. Somehow. I’m sure you’ll both enjoy it.
Why You Should Not Try This Position
Look at yourself. Neither you nor anyone you’re having sex with is a professional dancer. Even if you can do the splits, can you do it for a sustained period of time while someone hammers away at your nether regions? Hamstring injuries can take weeks to months to heal. How can you sprint towards the toilet paper aisle with a leg you can’t even walk on?
Would have been 3/10; but gets an extra point for the asbestos that is probably stuffed in your sketchy building’s ceiling.